I’ve always been a fan of Grimace, pictured above my last post. I can trace my appreciation for the big purple lug back to the days I was eligible to receive a free McDonald’s coloring book with my meal. He is, by far, the most endearing of the slightly freakish cast of McDonald’s characters. Of course, the others set the bar pretty low. Hamburglar and Captain Crook? Ex-cons. Probably beyond rehabilitation. It starts with burgers and fish sandwiches. Next thing you know, they’re holding up convenience stores. Ronald McDonald? Child molester. The Frie Guys? Greasy manorexics. Mayor McCheese? Totally corrupt. Grimace’s worst crime is being a little slow on the uptake and, of course, being of indeterminate genus. Which brings me to my point: for the love of GOD, what IS Grimace? Dave, I know you still have the signed portrait of him I made for you circa 2005. Please study it and send me your thoughts pronto. All are welcome to comment as well!
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The Letter T 
I think he’s like a latent version of “The Blob” that was once featured in a cheesy horror movie?? Perhaps..?
PS: “The Frie Guys? Greasy manorexics”….hahahaha, but they’re so HOT 😉
I always thought Hamburglar looked a bit satanic.
I now realize he’s just a normal guy who has some awful, bruised swelling caused by a lymphatic problem. However, I still love Grimace!
Hi Matt! I feel like I know you! LOL — Good point. I had not thought that Grimace might be suffering from some sort of dreadful condition. I should have been more sensitive.
My husband has a Mayor McCheese glass and my daughter thinks Ronald is really Old McDonald who had a farm. I must protect them from this post 🙂
Oh no — now I feel bad! I don’t want to tarnish your daughter’s image of R. McDonald and traumatize her!!! LOL — does Old McDonald have a first name, or did his parents name him “Old” when he was born? EEK … I hope he and the Mayor don’t sue me for defamation of character …
Yeah…I got nothin’. 😦 Dang it.
Don’t fret. I honestly cannot come up with a viable theory. My guess is that some ad wizards had a few yards of purple velour left over from a pimp costume or something and decided it would make the perfect skin for a new McDonald’s character.
I think it’s fairly obvious that Grimace is a chocolate milkshake. The reason he is purple is because if he was brown like a real chocolate milkshake, he would appear as a gigantic dookie.
Tee hee, you said “dookie.” I disagree. It is not at all obvious that Grimace is a milkshake. And anyway, if that were the case, why not make him white, like a vanilla milkshake, or pink, like a strawberry milkshake, to dispel any controversy?
I do have Grimace still…in a box in a van down by the river! hee hee. For the love of God…okay enough Chris Farley. I don’t know what Grimace is but I bet a head x-ray compared to Homer Simpson’s xray would be very similiar in the brain area. And why is he so fat? Was McD’s telling us something?? You too can be a plump pear shaped thing too if you eat here!
Geez I need some McFries!
And lordy where in the world did the deep fried apple pies go? Those things burned the hell out of your tongue but were awesome.
RICK CAN I HAVE SOME MCFRIES PLEASE PLEASE RICK CAN I CAN I? LOL you funny!!! You should be a guest blogger!!! Those pies ROCKED. I still have the scars on my tongue from the scalding “apple” (note quotes) filling that fell out onto my lap every time I bit into one …I also miss the “chocolatey chip” cookies … sniff sniff. Those were the days, man …but now we have macaroons!
I don’t know exactly what Grimace is, but I do suspect that he never called Barney’s mom after that first fateful dating encounter….
LOL — and their illegitimate cousin, of course, is that pink, Hawaiian short-wearing blob from “Sponge Bob.”